Choose To Understand Than Judge

 In a world quick to condemn and eager to judge, there exists a profound truth that sets the empathetic apart: they seek not to judge but to understand. This principle, simple in its statement but revolutionary in its application, marks the difference between reactive thinking and true response.

The impulse to judge is deeply human. We are pattern-seeking creatures, constantly categorising and evaluating our experiences and the people around us. This tendency served our ancestors well, allowing them to make split-second decisions crucial for survival. However, in our complex modern world, this same instinct often leads us astray, causing us to draw hasty conclusions and make decisions based on incomplete information.

Wise individuals recognise this limitation. They understand that every human being is the product of countless influences: their upbringing, their struggles, their victories, their fears, and their dreams. Each person's actions, no matter how seemingly incomprehensible, emerge from a complex web of circumstances and experiences that cannot be fully grasped at first glance.

Consider the parable of the man on the subway whose children were running wild, disturbing other passengers. When confronted, he apologised softly, explaining they had just come from the hospital where their mother had passed away. In an instant, judgment transforms into compassion, criticism into understanding. This story illustrates how context can completely alter our perception of a situation. It moves us from a position of superiority to one of curiosity, from condemnation to compassion.

Understanding requires effort. It demands that we suspend our immediate reactions and engage in the more challenging work of exploration and empathy. It asks us to consider perspectives different from our own, to acknowledge the limitations of our own experience, and to remain open to new information that might change our initial impressions.

The practice of understanding over judgment also requires humility. It asks us to acknowledge that our own perspective is limited, that our experiences, while valid, are not universal. The wise person knows that they too are capable of actions that others might not understand, given the right circumstances. This self-awareness breeds compassion and makes them slower to condemn others.

Moreover, the choice to understand rather than judge has profound effects on both the observer and the observed. When people feel understood rather than judged, they're more likely to be open, honest, and receptive to change. Understanding creates bridges where judging builds walls.

The path of understanding is not always easy. It requires more time, more energy, and more emotional investment than simple judgment. It may mean sitting with discomfort, acknowledging complexity, and resisting the urge to reach quick conclusions. However, the rewards – deeper relationships, more effective solutions, and personal growth – far outweigh the effort.

“Wise men don’t judge — they seek to understand” -Wei Wu Wei.