One of the repeated expressions in the bible is ‘I am unworthy…” Isaiah, one of the greatest prophets of Old Testament, experiences a vision of God and realises his inadequacy to prophesy. He surrenders saying, I am unworthy, for I am a man of unclean lips. Paul, who was comfortably persecuting the church, is thrown off from the horse. As Jesus encountered him, he surrenders saying, I am an untimely born, I am not worthy to be called an apostle of Christ. Then we have Peter, encountering his Lord for the first time. He was a master of his trade. All that he learned as a born fisherman and a grown up fisherman did not help him to make a catch. That miraculous catch of fish, with the intervention of Jesus makes peter motionless. He recognises his God. He falls on his knees and struggles with those words, depart from me Lord, I am not worthy, for I am a sinful man.
Here we have the centurion pleading, I am not worthy to have you under my roof… (Matthew 8: 5-11) and this expression has stayed on with us even to being a prayer in the Holy Eucharist. Unworthiness is a human category and condition to merit and demerit salvation, but in God’s categories there is no unworthiness, in God’s dictionary, there is no word called, unworthiness. Unworthiness, unclean, untouchable are all cruel and unkind human categories. If unclean and untouchables are directed towards the other, unworthiness is the same thing directed towards oneself. Both limits human growth and becoming.
Pathumma’s Goat (Pathummayude Aadu) 1959 is a popular novel in Malayalam by famous Vaikom Muhammad Basheer. The character Basheer in the novel goes wandering, leaving his mother alone in the house. After seven years, one late evening he comes back home and knocks at the house door. His mother comes and opens the door as though nothing had happened, like a mother would open the door for her son who comes from office every evening. And as she turned back to mind her chores she tells aloud, ‘supper is served and placed on the table for you, have it and go to bed.’ Basheer is shocked. He asked her how did you know I would return today? I do it everyday. I knew you would comeback one day, and you mustn’t go hungry to bed. Seven years of uncomplaining waiting. In mother’s categories there is no unworthiness.
In the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-32) too we hear the same lines, ‘father, I am not worthy to be called your son...’ But his father does not allow him to complete that sentence. He was always his son. In father’s categories there is no unworthiness.
We are loved, and no conditions apply. When the Pharisees or the elder son calculated and conditioned others worthiness, Jesus simply loved them.
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